My friend is being racist lately and just negative and hateful in general, and I don't know what to do
4 months ago
This turned into way more of a rant than I expected......For some context Im 20 and my friend is 19. We've been friends for about 5 years and she's my best friend. Recently she's been making a lot of comments about asian people, it used to be her making what I thought was jokes about stereotypical driving stuff but now its become a lot more frequent. For example a few weeks ago she messaged me on instagram a picture of a this guy from our high school with his Korean girlfriend, who also went to our high school, and her message was "why do guys like asians I dont get it" and my repose was "some guys aren't racist, she's really pretty" and then she said "oh damn you just came at me. I don't find them attractive" and then she tried to change the topic by talking about this guy at our school who would only date asian girls. Mind you at our high school it was mainly asian, I'm black and she's white and we were both the minority at our school. Its not just that lately its been so frequent and she never used to talk like this. When she picked me up to go eat she was screaming stuff out of her car at people and at one point started yelling and banging on her steering wheel about how she hates asians. Now when she gets her nails done she says stuff like "At least ling ling is good for something". On top of that she's been complaining about anything and everything recently and in such a hateful way. Everyone a whore and bitch and she must talk shit about them for hours.
Im not a negative person and I genuinely dont get joy out of shit talking people so when she does I dont engage or I just tell her everyone doesn't live their life based on what she thinks is right and vise versa. Its become so draining talking to her. Yesterday I didn't respond to her after she send me multiple messages about how she wanted to move to the white area of our area because she noticed brown people were moving into a house near by and she's tired of it. Well hell, I'm not white.
The past two years staying friends with her has been hard but every time I thought about cutting her off I felt bad because she was going though a hard time. And then she wasn't spewing hatful stuff she was being a crazy girlfriend who would spend her time following her boyfriend in her car and go through the same cycles of fighting every freaking day and breaking up weekly then crying about it. So I was there for her with that but like now I never just told her what she wanted to hear I would tell her the truth about things and when it got too tiresome I told her I couldn't talk to her if all she was gonna talk about was the crazy shit she was doing and give me updates on what her boyfriend was doing. She would literally give me minute by minute updates on what he was doing from info she collected by watching all of his friends snapchats or texting his sister. I'm not the type of person to blindly agree all the time so I would tell her when I thought she was acting crazy because she was so upset all the time and I wanted what was best fo her. I just dont understand why everyday seems to be something new. I think her ex boyfriends new girlfriend is Hispanic, but I'm not sure, but that was a whole thing with her.
And on top of all of this she wants to be a teacher for little kids. Heaven forbid she gets a nonwhite child in her class. I did tell her she should work on her predjudice if she wants to work with children andI guess thats why she wants to move to the white only part of town. Also, as I told her, the area she's describing doesn't only have white people...I would know I worked there. Every time I think I dont want be friends with someone who says things like this and thinks this way I just remember the years before she started acting like this and how it is when she's not. Its just so draining talking to her now.