So I have my ups and downs but today is pretty bad.
I'm a 21 year old guy and I've never had a girlfriend before. I just want someone to be there for me and to hug me when I'm feeling down but I would also love to be that person for someone else.
I don't really talk about my emotions enough, but when I'm drunk with my mates, we do tend to have deeper more emotional conversations. The usual gets said, but one thing that most of my friends bring up in a one to one or bigger group is "you'll find someone! You're really good looking (no homo), you're always there to listen plus you're really outgoing". The thing is, I really appreciate their compliments but I just don't believe them or I don't register them.
A few years ago I didn't care if I was alone or not, but now it just hurts. I also don't want to be in a relationship just for being in a relationship. I want too love that person and take care of her.
Here is a major thing I've personally noticed:
My passion is in web development but I feel like whenever I talk about it to a girl I feel like most just don't care about it (which is understandable, it's a niche thing) but it's who I am!
I love the idea and the culture behind it, every major thing I do is on or from the web. It's the thing I actually get excited about just talking about it. But often times they don't understand it so I kinda stopped bothering with trying to explain it and I try to "hide" that part of me but it's my true passion and I feel like someone without a personality without it.
Thanks for reading my rant, I really appreciate it!