Heartbroken by my family

General

3 months ago

4 4 0 81

Had a rough year. I lost my 2 jobs, one due to the death of my boss of 8 years who was a wonderful person and always gifted me with good pay. The other job was really toxic and depressing (late pay, no career opportunities, inhumane boss, etc.). I quit one job and then after a few weeks my beloved boss died. I've been looking for a job for about 4-5 months. I don't have a family. My mother has emotionally abused me most of my life, so I connect with her when needed, I can't be around her or talk to her, because it causes me a lot of suffering. My father is in jail in another country, we don't have a big emotional connection, tho we been talking more the past 2-3 years, because I've been supporting him financially (sending money, clothes and stuff to jail). Before that we didn't really talk much. I'm jobless and been trying to make ends meet, but none of my family members really care. Nobody asks me if I'm okay, if I have food on my plate, etc. It's my first time being completely jobless and dependent on unemployment insurance. And I kind knew that my family isn't a place to look for help or support, but for the first time in my life it really came to me that I have no family. Just blood relation to really not great people. I should let it go and deal with it, but I can't, it's breaking my heart and I can't stop crying about it. I have amazing and supportive people in my life - friends, fiance and his family (which is my family by heart), but I still feel alone and worthless. Tho I've been dealing with my parents neglect most of my life, letting go of your real family (by blood) is extremely hard for me, even though they will never appreciate me, support of help me in need. ​ Thank You so much for reading, it was really nice and freeing to write my problems out. Sorry if there are mistakes in the text (English is not my mother tongue). I hope everyone here will get blessed with good news, love or support in any way they need! :)


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