I am someone’s worst date ever and I still think it’s funny
9 months ago
Before I met my fiancé, I did some dating around. I was around 24-25 at the time of this. (F)
I met this guy, first time meeting him, he came over and I drank a lot of beer and we made out, blowjob action, whatever. I was in the depths of my eating disorder so beer on an empty stomach sometimes would equal surprise diarrhea. He went home at like 5 AM. He had also been drinking and told me this hilarious story about how he shit his pants once which I laughed pretty hard at. I’m really easygoing at times and stuff like that does not phase me.
I had asked him to stay over and he said he had to get home to help his disabled dad. K, whatever. After he left, I went to bed and had a fart, which on my empty stomach full of cheap beer, turned out to be a literal projectile of diarrhea in my bed. I thought this was funny and given he had told me a story about how he shit his pants, I texted him saying 'hahah, glad you didn't spend the night, just accidentally sharted in my bed.'
He pretended it was funny and then ghosted me immediately. I don’t blame him.