I catfished someone, and I hate myself for it

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2 months ago

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Just around February this year, I created a fake tinder profile. I uploaded a handful photos of a friend of a friend, picked out a random name, and got online and started swiping. I didn’t get on there with any malicious intent. I was lonely and bored and wanted someone to have a conversation with - risk free. A couple hours later, I matched with someone. He kicked off the conversation and a few sentences in we were both hooked on the texting. He asked for my phone number so I gave it to him - what harm would a few more texts be before I block and delete this person. The thing is though, the conversation wasn’t good - it was great. And I didn’t have the heart to end it. So I didn’t. We tried setting up times to meet, and I played along, backing out last minute because of work. I kept up the ruse by sharing selfies from the girl’s Instagram and sending voice notes proving I’m a female. I kept this up for 2 months between his legit vacation, and my inventing business trips and schedule mismatches. Eventually though, the guilt got to be too much and I pulled the plug. I couldn’t confess fully - I felt like he would’ve felt like a complete fool had he known he was completely duped. I lied and told him I never had the intention of meeting. That I was in a bad spot and needed the companionship. That I was moving away in a couple weeks and had to come clean because of it. He was upset. He got a little angry at first but then kept going back to how silly he felt and how surprised at how upset he actually felt. I felt gutted. I know I haven’t got much of a right to feel miserable about this, but I did. I told him he could let it all out on me if he wanted, and offered to call so he could lash out. But the worst part was he said he didn’t see the point of making me feel worse about the entire thing, as he was sure I already felt shit enough. I gave it another few weeks in case he had anything else to say and then blocked him. It has been 4 months since our last conversation and I still feel horrible about the entire thing. I haven’t told anyone about this, nor do I plan to. But I needed to get it off my chest in hopes of relieving some of the guilt and moving on.


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